*Just a Note: This was suppose to be posted on and for July 20th but I had a hard to finding just the right words to express how I was feeling/felt so it's a little late.*
But I won't cry for yesterday... There's an ordinary world...
Somehow I have to find... And as I try to make my way...
To the ordinary world... I will learn to survive...
My birthday was yesterday(on the 19th) & has become for me now a bitter-sweet affair. It's been 2 years since my 'Ordinary World' was turned up-side down on it's axis... I'm still trying to get my bearings straightened out. I'm never quite sure where this road/path is ever going... but we shall see. I have a special song for today & it's 'Ordinary World' by Duran Duran. "Why that song on this day?..." well, you'll have to just read on about it to find out. Never did I think or ever consider that there would be a day where this song would resonate so strongly with me. I mean, I have ALWAYS loved it & thought it was a well-crafted pop song. And now it has alot deeper meaning for me.
Still I can't escape the ghost of you...
Having such a good memory is often a blessing but sometimes it's a curse...
I remember what happened as if it had occured today. It started with a party to celebrate life & ended with an unexpected good-bye. For my bday in 2010, I threw a little get together with friends/family. All was fine & dandy(or so I thought)everybody had a great time... my Dad shot off a firework that nearly took my head off (it was by accident, honest ;)). Lots of laughs were had, I got my favorite pizza plus a bday cake.What could be any better?.... When the next day rolled around, it started out as any other normal day. What I did not know was that that would be the VERY last day I would ever see my father.
My Dad died suddenly on the 20th of July. So this day has not been easy for me. :-(
*i love you daddy*
For my Dad's funeral, I chose 3 songs that were to be played during the service. The 1st being "The Journey" by The Oak Ridge Boys (one of my Dad's favorite groups)... The 2nd was "Haven of Rest" sung by Glenn Payne & Guy Penrod(a favorite gospel tune) & the last song was Duran Duran's "Ordinary World". The reason I picked that Duran song was kind of a selfish one. At the time, it was the ONLY thing getting me through & I really needed to hear it. The song really is beautifully written & conveyed exactly what I was feeling... *thank you simon*
But nobody knows what's gonna happen tomorrow...
Last year's bday(in 2011) was a REALLY rough one since it would be 1-year since I lost my Dad. I never had any time to process my father's passing as I was too busy looking after my Mom & planning the funeral... I STILL haven't gotten use to him NOT being here. But then again, that's the way it is. For my bday last year, I decided that I wanted something special. I had a bday cake & put Duran Duran on it. :-) I didn't have much of a party, only a few friends over for some cake.
Truth was I didn't feel much like celebrating... :-/
But there was one thing that happened(stood out shall I just say) on this bday. A silver-lining amongst the clouds... 'Twas a very special bday present I would receive that would make that day unforgettable. :-D
I shall state it here(in case ya didn't know already ;) ) that I have Had & STILL DO have a Major(and I DO mean MAJOR :-D) crush on one Mr. John Taylor, the bass player for Duran Duran.
Anyway, back to July 19th 2011...
I was not a particularly 'happy bday' girl this day. I was having a hard time with my dad's death and I had also gotten bored so I decided to go 'n lurk on Twitter for awhile. Well, lo and behold... Mr. Taylor just happened to be on at the same exact time & was a tweetin' away. I had decided to (just for the hell of it really) tweet John and ask him to wish me a 'Happy Birthday' not really thinking that he would EVEN see much less reply to me. But to my ABSOLUTE astonishment he granted my wish and gave me the tweet I had requested.
I was FLOORED to say the least... Actually, my 1st response was to do a 'WTF' double-take at my Twitter timeline & my 2nd was to burst into tears. *yes, John Taylor made me cry*
I have to say that it meant/means a HELL of alot to me that John did that. He probably had no idea at the time just how special a present that was for me & how much better it made me feel. It is a gift that will ALWAYS be treasured too considering that I put it in a frame. *i'm weird, i know ;-)*
my bday tweet all framed up... :-D
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever...
After just 2 years... it's still hard for me to grasp the fact that my Dad is really gone. Death never seems easy to understand. We just have to find a way to carry on & cherish those special to us... And btw, I am still learning to survive.
much love,
Merc
In closing...
I want to give a special shout-out/thanks to some peeps.... *ya know just in case they read this, yeah like that's ever gonna happen... ;-) *
To Duran Duran: Thank you for being a part of my life...
To Simon LeBon: I want to thank you for writing "Ordinary World". You gave us music fan's an amazing song and please know that that song has, does & means alot to us.
*saves best for last... ;-)*
To John Taylor: umm, what to say... I'm not sure if I can express this right but I shall try. I want to personally(well, as personal as I can ever get anyway) Thank you for giving SO much to us fan's through all the tweets you do. You don't really have to tweet us but I'm very thankful & happy that you do... PLEASE know that getting that Bday tweet last year from you meant EVERYTHING to me. You made me feel VERY special on a day when I really needed it. Again, Thank-You! for doing what you do... *much love & hugs* :-D
